1. I freakin LOVE Fetty Wap, his voice & music is like therapeutic to my soul haha
2. I cant fall asleep without twirling my hair to bed, its been a habit since I was 5 lol 3. I LOVE the smell of garages and gasoline. If it wasnt all bad for you Id be using that as perfume 4. I have an obsession with collecting things, hair accessories, shoes, nail polish. Anything that involves like more than 10 different options, its now part of kendalls collections, my wallet and husband hate me😂 5. My favorite snack is eating frozen grapes with sour cream and brown sugar. Sounds disgusting but just wait until you actually try it! 6. I will sing at the top of my lungs in my car, but nobody will ever hear me and I will not dare sing in front of people. I also have slight speech impedement. Cant pronounce anything for my lifr 7. I am NOT a morning person. I struggle hard to get up in the mornings, anything before 9:30 count me out! 8. Ive lowkey always wanted to live in Nashville, Tennessee. You can catch me and my cute family one day in a modern white farmhouse on a huge green grass land with a white picket fence🤗 9. I am TERRIFIED of the dark. I actually sleep with a night light, yes ask my husband, Im a weak 24 year old 😂 Sharks scare me too, I will never scuba or snorkle everrr again 10. I secretly wish I went to school to become a crime scene investigator or a profiler or EVEN A bounty hunter😏. I know way to much and study crime on my free time! I love watching crime, documentaries and especially the murder mystery lifetime movies! Crime scenes, count me in! 11. I have an OCD where my hands always have to be moisturized, lotioned, sanatized or wet. I cant stand dry hands! Sometimes at restaurants I will wipe my hands around the glass water from the moisture...yes Im weird I know. 12. I dont read much, but my favorite books growing up were Goosebumps 🙃 13. I have always been attracted to green eyes and dirty blonde hair, thats why Michael has my ❤ 14. I am married to a twin, and yes they look EXACTLY alike. 15. I have a habit of bitting the inside of my cheeks 16. I literally revolve my trips around the best food places to eat at. 17. Sometimes my dreams come true in real life, sometimes they are nightmares! 18. My ultimate favorite thing to do is dance. Thanks to growing up in an amazing multicultural family ❤ 19. I really enjoy watching basketball out of all sports. 20. Im half white and half Hispanic! Thank you padres 21. I literally cry at EVERY sad or happy movie! I do have a big heart but dont show it much. 22. I like to try new things, I will admit its hard to live with someone who likes to do the same things, eat the same things, my husband is a simple dude...but I Iike change🤗 23. I can either have a sentimental understanding caring soul or I can be the biggest cold hearted B...I act accordingly, no in between 😂 24. I love to ride dirtbikes. I grew up riding but dont have one anymore, hopefully one day my hubby will build one for me cuz thats what he does ❤ 25. I used to tan with motor oil, until the damage has shown today😅 26. Growing up I have always been super insecure about my nose. I had fractured it in a quad accident riding off a cliff and luckily never broke it, just fractured it. As time passed it healed on its own and Ive honestly never been happier and confident now with how I look :) 27. If there is one thing that is rough about marriage, its combining our family dynamics and making it into a solid one! Being raised two different ways has its strengths and weaknesses😅 28. If I had a dream car it would be a ford raptor or a Mercedes benz wagon! 29. I go clubbing with my mom, yes she is still my mom but we also just LOVE to dance...so once in a while we go just for fun and my mom can get down! She is my best friend 30. Sometimes I sleep with my eye makeup on so I dont have to get ready the next morning for work😂 31. I HATE the dentist. I wish I could totally ask if I can get put to sleep for a basic check up. 32. I have zero pain tolerance. More likely a negative if that. Im a huge wussy when I get hurt, so If I go in for anything major...load up the pain killers! 33. My favorite drinks are either rosa chocolate milk or cotton candy BANG. 34. My lucky number is 13, just like my Dad ❤ 35. I struggle with health EVERY SINGLE DAY, but I manage and thats life :) 36. I cant really give you a favorite color because it changes constantly. But if I had to choose top 3, it would be rose gold+sage green+tiffany mint blue 37. My celebrity crush has always been Channing Tatum hands down, sorry Michael (my husband)😂 38. I sleep very funky and usually never stick to my side of the bed haha 39. I am the oldest of 2 siblings, I have a 21 year old sister and a 13 year old brother...and then a 30 year old sister who pretty much is family cuz weve adopted her so much, Love you LISA😂 40. Im not good at having pets, I cant keep them alive! 41. I will eat chocolate chip cookies for days if nobody stops me. My favorite dessert ever. 42. Growing up I was never the athletic type, I was always picked last in PE😂 Suprisingly now I love working out, and now Im a fitness instructor ready to kick your....! 43. One day, I hope I can become a minimalist and be totally ZEN 44. I love fashion, but Im also super cheap. I will buy knock offs like no other and still same quality! But dont get me wrong, I do love my brands sometimes too! Guys, there really are cute finds at Walmart tho! 45. I really do like social gatherings, but Im also super awkward at trying to make friends to invite me to those things 😂 46. Ive always loved the names Emmet & Esmay, hopefully I will be blessed with twins one day...one boy and one gurl, then lets call it one and done!✔😅 47. I used to hate country music, now its my everyday meditation to drive me home 48. My favorite show of all time is Roswell! The old 90s one! 49. I hate soda, the carbonation is sometimes too strong ! 50. I love everything crafts! I can actually do alot, I love floral design and wreaths, I love making home decor, I love paper crafts and I LOVE doing calligraphy! 51. I do not like when my character is questioned, claws will always come out😬 52. My favorite place to eat is chic fil a, and Im a nutella addict 53. If I could travel anywhere it would be at bora bora staying in the water, Alaska staying in a cozy cabin or Egypt because I love the history of the pyramids! 54. My dream job would be to get paid to travel and blog every second of it! 55. My biggest influencers would have to be my parents. I really do believe they are the best role models. They've taught me to always open my arms to everyone and love one another no matter the circumstances. Theyve taught me how to guard my heart, how to forgive and how grudges are the ugliest thing of mankind. Theyve always opened thier home to multiple friends and people in our life. That friends will always be family, doesnt matter if they are not blood, overwelcoming those around you overwhelms the heart inside you❤
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I couldnt help but write another post as we come into the new year, so much lessons learned, progress and craziness has all happened at once. This year will be a selfish year. My time will be invested on me. On improving myself to be a better person inside and out, physically and mentally. Not worrying what others think and dismiss anyones negative opinions. Alot of people will be pissed when you start doing what's best for you. And to that, I say go for it! Your feelings, your route, your journey. I will chose whats best for me and MY family. Not everyone has gotten the same version of me. Some may say I have an amazing christlike soul. Others may say I'm a cold hearted B. Id say believe them both, I act accordingly hahaha. So that being said, I no longer chase anything or anyone, I work for what I want and I will remain patient while going after it. I do not have the energy what is not for the better for me, as life is too short I will only try to seek positivity and success. So heres a reminder for 2020, love yourself for who you are, know your worth and dont chase or beg anyone to stay. Save space for people that matter, accept what cannot be changed and leave what isnt for you. Work hard for what you want, even if others dont see your true intentions. Know that you are a better and bigger person. Time is so valuable, and Im going to make the most out of it. 2017 changed me, 2018 broke me, 2019 opened my eyes, 2020 Im coming back. Here's to 2020 with less stress and more faith. Genuine people and less forced fake interactions. More laughter, less tears. Zero drama. Letting go your pride and being the bigger and better person to forgive. Hard work, success, and time to do all the things that matter most. Cheers if your with me. Lets handle this.
Xoxo, K Looking forward to 2020... I decided to write 21 things to work on in the near future and current things I am working on now. I have shared past and current experiences, tips, quotes and articles of what I have been through and where I want to end up at and hope you take as an inspiration in your life. These 21 things are really about freeing my emotions and really finding myself, understanding what I want and progressing towards all my goals. I am not a professional psychologist or doctor by any means, so everything I say is based on my own personal experiences. Also don't judge my bad grammar or spelling, I so sometimes fail at this! But, comparing to my old article last year on my lifestyle blog, it's amazing how far you can come along. Here is a link to my old post on "New year, new chances" incase you wanted to read before my new 2020 article: http://asliceofsasselli.weebly.com/seasonal1.html 1. TRY TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL LIFE As I come to ponder on what it is to have a meaningful life, there's really not much to it. It's simple: know what's important and pursue it. It could be people, a new job, a passion or everything that makes you, YOU. I try and find self-awareness in my life and focus on what's my purpose. I don't want to get THROUGH life, I want to ENJOY it. Life is short, so enjoy the most you can with your loved ones. Live with compassion. I am no saint, and that is something I really want to work on, being compassionate. But find your purpose, live it, and be excited about it! 2. GET OVER THE PAST This has been the #1 struggle for me in life. I dwell a lot on past experiences that have shaped and molded me into a person I don't want to become. I came to realize that Ietting things go is honestly the only way to overcome the past and heal. And everyone is allowed to heal. If you have survived trauma, devastation, heartbreak, health issues or any other different phases in your life that is holding you back to become the person you want to be, then heal. Let it go, and embrace your "now". Doesn't matter if it takes a day, 3 months, or years. If people love you, they will respect you and your boundaries until you are ready to come together. Head up doll, we've been through it all. You are NOT ALONE and everyone has past issues that everyone is working on. Some more than others, but that's the greatest thing about it...we can all relate to something. Lessons learned only builds you stronger and now you are self-aware of what YOU can do to change that :) 3. PRACTICE HUMILITY I have met a lot of people who have put pride before the right thing to do. I again am no where near to judge, but sometimes even I need to put aside my pride and face the reality that it's an ugly thing to have as a personality. So practice humility, recognize other people for their achievements. The benefits of humbleness can surprise you when you least expect it, but that can only happen if you practice a little humility everyday. If you keep the humble side in mind, then there is no room for pride and ignorance. And when that day occurs, your heart is so full and open that its overwhelming in happiness. An author I found named Drake Mariani shares his 9 ways to practice humility. It has been very comforting to hear what he has to say knowing little situations I have personally come across in life. He quotes below: 1) Speak as little as possible about yourself There is a difference between someone who is boastful and a braggart, and someone who speaks with confidence. Everyone know’s that guy. He can’t help but tell everyone how awesome he is. But the truth is–if he was really that cool, why would he have to tell everyone? Practicing humility means you speak and act with confidence, but you never have to talk about yourself. 2) Mind your own business There's an old adage which says, "There are 3 sides to every story. There's what you say happened. There's what the other person said happened. And there's what really happened." The reality is, whatever the situation, you don’t know the whole story. It’s easy to assume you understand what's going on and make a judgment. But the reality is, you know nothing about what's going on in other people's situation. So mind your own business and stay out of everyone else's. 3) Don't try to manage other people's affairs Except in the rare occasions when someone specifically ask you for help, keep your advice to yourself. No matter how well-intentioned your motive. 4) Stop being nosy Curiosity not only killed the cat, it killed many a friendship. Again, we're talking balances here. There is a big difference between showing interest in another person and being an annoying, persistent interrogator. Accept what people share with you. If you think you're starting to cross the line into being nosy...you probably have gone too far. Dial it back a bit. 5) Accept contradictions and corrections with a smile There are going to be times when someone is going to disagree and try to correct you for something. Whether they're right or wrong, it doesn't matter - and your response should always be the same. First, don't take anything the other person says personally. Accept the other person's opinion and give up any need you have to prove you're right. When you do this, be sure to keep your non-verbal cues in check. Accepting someone's opinion, but appearing emotionally overwhelmed with your arms folded and a scowl on you face won't help. Smile, and accept the other person's opinion as just that...an opinion. 6) Ignore the mistakes of others There's a saying I like which goes something like this, "People will always forget what you told them, but they will never forget how you made them feel." Instead of throwing people's mistakes back in their face, use these times as your opportunity to show your humility. Something along the lines of, "That's OK, I used to make the same mistake all the time." will go a long way toward showing your true humility. It will set you apart as a leader too. 7) Accept insults and injuries when directed your way Don't take things personally. When someone throws insults your way, be assured the problem they are dealing with is not you, it's something else. 8) Accept being slighted, disliked or forgotten We all have a human need to be relevant. But sometimes life moves on and, well...we aren't as relevant as we once were. Recently I saw a bumper sticker that made me laugh out loud. "I used to be cool." If you ever left a job and then returned a month later to visit and nobody remembered you...it's nobody's fault. Life just moves on. So when your coffee barista forgets your name, or the store clerk is rude, and people don't return your calls like they used to...don't take it personally. Accept it and say, "But of course...this is normal. It's not about me." 9) Be kind, even when provoked Being kind, even when provoked, allows you to be a positive force in people's lives. The act of being kind brings meaning to your life and rubs off on others. After all, it's difficult to stay angry with someone if they respond with kindness. 4. UNDERSTAND FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is key to also getting over the past. Yes you can "forgive and forget", but that doesn't always work for everyone. And it might not be the healthiest option either. It's all about the process. Ive tried to be in other people's shoes on why some cant forgive others and its just hard for me to understand how some people can have such hate and resentment in thier hearts towards other people, but then I had to realize everyone heals differently and thats okay beause even I went through that as well. As long as you know you are doing the right thing and you are at peace with it, then forgiveness can be amazingly simple. I came upon a talk I've held close to me for a while on my fridge that a good friend gave me so that me and my husband can see and practice everyday in the little trials in life. It's called "Choosing to Forgive" by Benjamin F. Call: As we look to God for the strength to forgive and set aside our pride, fear, resentment, and bitterness, we feel hope and peace. As a cardiologist, I attended a conference for physicians several years ago about the importance of forgiveness. I learned there of scholarly studies showing that choosing to forgive leads to better health, increased optimism, and better relationships with others.1 In my study of the words of God, I have learned that forgiving others also brings great spiritual blessings, including peace and hope. Perhaps the most important of these blessings is that as we forgive others, we can be forgiven of our own sins. The Lord teaches us that forgiving others is a universal commandment—we are “required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). Yet even when we are aware of the importance of forgiveness, it may be difficult to forgive. Sometimes we allow pride, fear, resentment, or bitterness to discourage us and block our ability to feel hope. But the courage to forgive comes to those who put their faith and trust in the Lord. With His help, we can find the strength to forgive others—whether the wrongdoer has committed a serious sin or an unintended offense. Here are a few suggestions. Understand what forgiveness is. To forgive is to pardon an offense. It is to let go of blame for a past hurt. It is to release a great burden. It is to move ahead with life. In his last general conference address, President James E. Faust (1920–2007), Second Counselor in the First Presidency, cited this definition of forgiveness: “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”2 Understand what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness does not require condoning a wrong, nor does it require allowing a harmful behavior, such as an abusive relationship, to continue. Also, forgiveness is not forgetting—if the offense wounded you enough to require forgiveness, you will likely have a memory of it. As author Lewis B. Smedes explained, “Forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”3 Understand that failing to forgive magnifies the pain. Pain, disappointment, and injustice touch every life, often wounding tender hearts. At such times it may seem natural to blame another for things that have gone wrong. When we seek to place blame, however, we actually magnify our pain. This is because the act of blaming focuses our minds and hearts on the past, causing us to relive the hurt and harbor emotional and spiritual injuries that might otherwise heal. Resisting the urge to place blame is key to our ability to forgive. Elder Hugh W. Pinnock (1934–2000) of the Seventy taught: “Of course, heartache and pain can be spilled upon us by dishonest, manipulative, or unkind people. Accidents happen that can inflict terrible pain and sometimes lifetime disability. But to judge, blame, and not forgive always intensifies the problem. It pushes healing further into the future.”4 In order to fully heal, we need to accept responsibility for our reaction to whatever happens. Taking responsibility for the condition of our hearts allows us to regain control of our lives. Although we cannot always control what happens to us, we can always choose our response. Herein lies the power of our agency. Pray for humility. Humility is the opposite of pride, which is the primary obstacle in our effort to forgive. Pride causes us to blame others for our misfortunes and to shift responsibility for what happens to us onto anyone but ourselves. But the Lord promises, “If they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). According to our humility and faith, the Lord will help us stop blaming others and truly forgive. Express gratitude. Expressing gratitude invites the Spirit more fully into our lives, which can soften and change our hearts. Consider keeping a journal of things you are grateful for. Look for manifestations of God’s love each day. As you cultivate an attitude of gratitude, you may find that you can even identify reasons to be grateful for your trials. Be patient. Forgiving when your pain is great may take time. A woman who was recovering from a painful divorce received this wise counsel from her bishop: “Keep a place in your heart for forgiveness, and when it comes, welcome it in.”5 You can make room for forgiveness through earnest prayer, study, and contemplation. Feasting upon the words of Christ daily will also help you draw closer to Him and will bring great healing power into your life (see 2 Nephi 31:20; Jacob 2:8). Leave the past behind. The past is written in stone and cannot be changed. Focus your energy on today, for today you have the power to choose to forgive. Write it down. When we hold grudges, we keep our wounds alive and fresh. Writing down your feelings can help you move forward. You may find it helpful to record your perspective on the situation and then rewrite your story by retelling it using a loving and forgiving tone. This practice invites the spirit of forgiveness and can bring a sense of closure to grievances and hurt feelings. Trust that God will be the perfect Judge. The Savior said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). As we forgive, we must have enough faith to allow Christ’s judgment to be judgment enough. He will bring both mercy to the humble and justice to the wicked. Rest assured that God’s judgment will be thorough and fair. Cast your burden on the Lord. Christ beckons, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Remember that in addition to taking upon Him the sins of the world, Christ took upon Him our pains and infirmities (see 2 Nephi 9:21; Alma 7:11–12; D&C 18:11). If you allow Him, He can make your burden light. It can be difficult to find the strength to forgive, but the Savior and His Atonement make it possible. Truly, as we open our hearts to forgive others, we will be blessed with peace. Let us each embrace the healing power of forgiveness. It can be difficult to find the strength to forgive, but the Savior and His Atonement make it possible. 5. LET YOURSELF HEAL AS NECESSARY Remaining to love, growth and happiness...this is always a great place to start. As you come across roadblocks into your life, you will hit ups and you will hit downs. I have learned to create boundaries to anything that has been delaying my healing processes in life and to never discourage anyone who continuously makes progress, no matter how slow. Emotional self care to me looks like this: fun music, home decorating, yoga & incense, building a testimony in my church, mini trips with my husband, spending time with friends and my family & visiting the temple as much as I can. I read on 5 powerful steps that opened my mind to overcoming anything crazy in my life. Number one: Understand, understand your why and what it caused you to feel. Angry, sad resentment? This was so important for me to realize because it is essential for real change. Number two: Take Action, when we become angry at something or someone we automatically blame everything else. Its a natural thing and that's where our ego comes in. Taking responsibility for something you know is not your fault is hard. But you will always know what intentions you had for the better. And it's okay to be the bigger person even if others don't see it. Number three: Experience Empathy, becoming alert and recognizing the behavioral patterns one has rooted as a wound is amazing when figured out. If you are sad, then cry until you are done...if you are angry, then be angry and let yourself experience it to the full, so you understand you never want to go through that again. Number four: Return, "Examine how and under what circumstances that particular internal wound was made. We will be able to accomplish that, since our past is there with us, it exists in there, only unconsciously. We now intentionally bring those wounds to the light of Conscience. The mental injury will open up for us. There is nothing we should do with that inner wound. All we need to do is be alert, watch with all our attention. We must not allow the mind to start working in us, making judgments about the situation in which we received the wound. If the Mind begins to work, the process of blaming the responsibility on others will never cease, and the mental wound will never be healed in us. What is more, it will become even worse. Whenever we have the opportunity, at the time of sadness, unhappiness, jealousy or anger, we should go back to our past. In this way we will be more and more experienced in detecting the mental wounds in the background of our negative emotions and unacceptable behavior."-Frank Wanderer. Number five: Recovery, decondition that mind of yours. "When we consciously return to our own past, and look at a mental wound with full alertness, this alertness and Consciousness will turn into a healing force." Alertness and process to healing your wounds vanishes and then disappears to where this is the beginning to your awareness. Change your attitude, spend time with those that lift you up, find something that makes you happy. Even through all the toughest times life has brought me, my husband continuously stands by my side and I cant thank him enough. No, he is not perfect and neither am I but we help each other out on our weaknesses, and we dont stop until it's mastered :) 6. CREATE SPACE FOR HAPPINESS: LOVE, LAUGHTER AND PURE JOY #LIGHTTHEWORLD Exist in this world to live a life that will make you happy, not to impress the world. I recently read a talk by Jeffery R. Holland quoting "Most times, happiness comes when we least expect it, when we are busy doing something else. Happiness is almost always a by-product of some other endeavor." The quest for happiness is really the quest of a lifetime and the purpose of our existence here on earth. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, This is not a new quest. It has been one of the fundamental pursuits of humankind through the ages of time. … So how do we “pursue” happiness …? Well, we know one thing for sure: happiness is not easy to find running straight for it. It is usually too elusive, too ephemeral, too subtle. If you haven’t learned it already, you will learn in the years ahead that most times happiness comes to us when we least expect it, again...when we are busy doing something else. Indeed, President Faust taught, Although men are “that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25), this does not mean that our lives will be filled only with joy, “for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). Happiness is not given to us in a package that we can just open up and consume. Nobody is ever happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Rather than thinking in terms of a day, we perhaps need to snatch happiness in little pieces, learning to recognize the elements of happiness and then treasuring them while they last. The quest for true happiness begins with how we live." Love, laughter and joy all go hand in hand with happiness. Create space for serving others and love it. I know when I reach out to someone I don't rarely talk to and help out, I legitimately feel really freakin good. Laughter only gets me through so much until I fall on the ground and can hardly breathe because someone said something extremely hilarious. But that's okay, because I LOVE laughing and it brings me JOY. If you havent heard the challenge #lighthteworld from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I totally think you should read it. It gives you days in December 2019 to do one small act of kindness everyday. And even when the challenge is done, dont feel the need to stop it! Continue through life #lightinguptheworld each and every day through happiness :) 7. DO NOT DWELL ON YOUR MISTAKES It's just plain and simple. Get over your past mistakes and move on from it. Sounds easy right? Nope, absoultey not. As I was sitting on my bed one night, I broke down and completly just lost all emotons. My whole "I have it all together" attitude went into pieces and I sat and just let all my issues get the best of me. Michael comes in, picks me up and hugs me...then says c'mon lets go grab some ice cream. Of course he knows food is my weakness (and the way to my heart) but that didnt change the fact that I couldnt get it all together. He then told me, in order to really change you have to let it go and not dwell on yourself. I took that to heart and have tried to really keep my self concious clear from it. So I tried to focus on the good things I have in life. Being grateful. And I swear by just being around your loved ones, talking about it and then changing your ways can come a long way. So my advice to you is this... instead, find things your good at, achievements, progress in a job or career, relationships with family or friends. Write something in the mirror everyday and focus on your best features and throw away the bad overthinking mind. Ditch the regret and stop dwelling on the past and live your now, girl... you do you! 8. QUIT OVERTHINKING AND MANAGING YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & NEEDS If there is one thing I overthink for most its the people out there with broken families. I've seen so many in my years growing up and my heart really goes out to them. Family isn't defined by blood or by last names. "It does not mean keeping secrets, walking on egg shells, lying just to keep the peace, pretending others are healthy when they are not, tip toeing around the truth, attending events that derail your healing progress, defending unhealthy choices, engaging in toxic behavior, remaining loyal to old destructive patterns, or sacrificing your needs to an attempt to fix or save others".(@courtneyjburg) Its defined by those who are truly there for you. Its defined by commitment and healthy boundaries. Knowing your place when it is needed, and showing love when it is needed the most. It means having each others back, but also knowing right from wrong and putting pride aside. It means telling each other the way it is, not managing your feelings and needs because someone will turn it into something dramatic or getting hurt. It is about honesty. It means forgiveness, strength and being humble. It means choosing to love each other even on those days when you struggle to like each other. It means never giving up on each other. For those out there dreading the holiday dinners that are sometimes awkward or not so fun, just remember who you are. Remember why certain people are in your life and quit overthinking about it. Be honest about your thoughts, feelings and needs. It can come a long way. And maybe, just one day, everyone else will feel the same. 9. STOP SELF-DOUBT "I want you to imagine a 10 year old version of yourself sitting opposite from you right this minute. Got it? Ok, now I want you to tell this little girl or boy that they mean absolutely nothing. Tell them they are an embarrassment, that they are worthless, that they are useless. Are you doing it...? Can you say it? NO. You cant do it right? Now realize that this is essentially what you do to yourself every single day. What do you really want to say to this kid? That they are worth it right? But they're incredible and they should never let anyone tell you otherwise. Now say that stuff to yourself. Replace the bad with the good. Repeat it. Believe it. Understand it." -@kenziebrenna Self doubt is a horrible thing to have, and even I have put myself too high in expectations as well. But that's where you have to really dig yourself out and realize that you can do anything if you stop holding yourself too low. Stop comparing yourself to the world's selfies, and be grateful for what you actually have and how hard you've worked for it. My tip for getting through self doubt is gratitude. Looking back at 2018, it was rough on my health. Then 2019 hit me hard, and I had multiple health issues, doctor visits and surgeries. No it was not fun, and everyday I felt horrible about myself and didnt want to get out and experience new things or people. And when you are doubting yourself, you dont realize it but others can get hurt along the process too. I have seen it and am sorry to those who are reading this that I have not been able to reach out to. But I will say, it's something nobody should have in the back of thier head. Throw those demons away. Toss your hair in a bun, put on some lipstick and let on your whole "driven purpose vibes" take over you :) 10. DONT FEAR CHANGE, BE EXCITED FOR A NEW CHAPTER, BE OPEN MINDED I have to say, I LOVE change. I'm actually horrible at sticking to one thing, I always like to try new things or new places. Some things more than others I would like to change but it definitely takes time to get adjusted to new patterns. You cant change a person, but you can sure help someone's perspective if thats your change. Change can also be scary, especially when it is good for us. Just gotta find the right things to change and make progress on. Nothing is imposible if you keep going at it. Ive learned though alot through change, we as people sometimes resist it because we focus so much on what we have to give up rather than being excited for what we can gain. "Change is hard at first, messy in the middle but gorgeous in the end"(Robin Shawrma). We expect everything to fall into pieces when we are too comfortable, but its also okay to make some room for your changes. It's okay to put your input in a job, its okay to change your career if you arent happy, its okay to move away from your homewtown, its always okay. Its all about the growing and learning new experiences in life to where you know what you want. There are usually 3 reasons why people change themselves or there ways: One, they have learned alot, two...they have suffered enough, and three...they got tired of all the same things. Which one is yours? I can say, mine is all 3. And it's been a progress on little changes in my life to where its exciting and mind-blowing on where I am today. 11. BE PATIENT, LET TIME DO AS IS Oh man do I struggle with this one. If there is one thing I don't have, it is PATIENCEEEEE. I worry about the people that see me drive, I can't even tell you how many times I've had complete bad road rage and then realize I look ridiculous because I got impatient for something so little. Patience is hard guys. Hard in life, financially, in answers, relationships, careers, etc.. its just plain difficult. But, I have to say yoga gets me off that track of impatienceness...if that's even a word lol. There's a lot of things I have been working on and being patient for it is just unbearable. I've cried, given up, started back over, got angry and then back to square one. I had to come to a realization that good things do take time, and if I just let go then it will come when we least expect it. I do believe God truly does have a plan for all of us, and whether our patience is being tested, we just have to believe and have faith that when its the right time, things will fall into place. "We often want things to work out so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking, fantasizing, imagining, expecting, worrying, and doubting. Just let it naturally evolve. Be strong enough to let go, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve." 12. BE CLEAR OF WHAT YOU WANT Be clear of what you want in life. Then find people in your life to support it. Clear vision will always equal clear life and that's one of my goals that is so important for me to master. As I've come a long way to figuring out my niche in life, its hard because its so broad. I've got a million things on my list on what I want to do, or open up or change. But I have to focus on one thing and it's hard to just start with that. You find out what your good at and then you want to master one thing to another. But we all start somewhere right? I loved everything that I have experienced to find out what I want to do. I loved writing for fashion and journalism, I loved being a preschool teacher, I loved making homemade projects and décor, I love doing calligraphy, I love yoga and fitness, I love so much in life that its hard to find one thing in life that is perfect for you. But being clear of what you want is all in your hands to take control. It's like going to the donut shop and asking for that one maple bar that has the exact amount of icing you want versus the others. THATS what I need to follow, that one donut, I want that ONE donut in order to completely be satisfied...well with my fat lard of an appetite haha. But really, be clear of what you want, with people, life, choices...everything. "If you don't see a clear path, then you might just have to make one yourself" :) 13. NO NEED TO SACRIFICE YOUR HAPPINESS FOR OTHERS, YOU CANNOT ALWAYS HELP EVERYONE It is okay to be selfish and selfless at the same time. I had a close friend tell me, "you know what Kendall, you are so worried about helping others and fighting thier battles, your being too self-less, you need to start helping yourself". And from that point on, I realized something different about myself. You cant always help everyone, even if your intentions mean well and no harm. But sometimes things take more time than others. All I know is if you have faith that things will work, then they will. An act of kindness is never bad. Everyone wants to help others, bring them up, and make life easier. And it's okay if you cant help everyone see the brighter bigger picture, just know that you tried and you did it with love. There is no need to sacrifice your happiness for others. Especially if it means delaying your healing process. And you do not need to feel guilty for it, dont let anyone let you tell you otherwise. Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people, if they care, they'll notice. If they don't, you know where they stand. But when it all comes down to it, worry about your mains in life, and dont worry about the outcome. 14. DEVELOP HEALTHY HABITS It's honestly so amazing how much you can change in a year. I remember last year I wrote a blog post on new years day of 2019 talking about developing my very own healthy habits, and looking back from now I am so proud that I decided to do so. As my health journey has been an all time rollercoaster, but it has also given me strength. Strength to change and really get in my best shape ever. I remember one day my back went out after cleaning my kitchen. Due to my scoliosis being one of my health issues, I cant do much activity or my back would shut down at random. That day I fell to the floor and couldn't get up, I looked ridiculous laying there on the floor haha but luckily I have an amazing husband who carried me everywhere...THE WHOLE WEEK. Especially going to the bathroom, which was totally not fun at all but now we laugh and giggle about it. That was a horrible month to begin with but I got past it. After having many issues with my body and health, surgeries and multiple doctor visits...I lost all encouragement and everything was just hitting me all at once. But looking back again, this was also the year I fell in love with myself and kicked low self esteem right in the butt! After all my health issues, I decided to go on a health splurge and change my diet, new exercise routines and mental health. Yeah I still have some health issues that will never go away but I gained more knowledge in what was best for me. I decided to try a lifestyle of healthy eating during the week and weekends I'd have some yummy fast food to keep me sane! I did yoga, rebounding and barre pilates to get me toned and in shape. And well, my mental well-being, I saved that for the temple. I lost exactly 25lbs and have never been so happy! I've learned how to cook healthy well rounded meals, practice my fitness and live a stress free mentality. So find your niche, and just start collecting healthy habits for your body and mind. Everyone is different, and everyone has different paces, but I only hope for the best and hope you are encouraged for developing good habits in 2020 :) 15. RECONNECT OR REACH OUT TO WHO YOUR HEART DESIRES "You may not realize it now, but generations after you will thank you for saying "no" to that old, toxic tradition." @courtneyjburg I love this quote, another one of my goals this 2020 is to reach out to old family or friends. I look at the fact that there is always a reason people come into your life, its just if they are meant to stay in it or go. You have that option. It was very difficult for me to reach out to some than others because of old issues or resentment someone else had, but I realized this is getting old and we need to change that because one day someone will regret it. Again, its all about humbling your heart and putting your pride aside. You know when they say listen to your heart, literally listen to your DANG heart and reach out. You just never know what they may feel as well. You never know what they are going through themselves. I won't give names but one person I reached out to I connected instantly, and I wished I had knew before. I was lost in life, going through the motions and feeling horrible about certain things I had been through. She gave me hope that everything can totally be better if I just do the Christ-like thing. And not to sound self-fish but it was thearputic, to talk to someone because we had the same problems and I couldnt help but cry and thank God that I wasnt the only person in this world going crazy haha. Emotional trauma is a real thing guys, I had no idea until I read on it and I was like holy crap thats me, guilty. But Ive surrounded myself with great friends and close family to fall back on, and still I continue to find more :) I came across a blog post about "7 reasons why you should reconnect with old friends" by Paul Hudson. He talks breifly about why its such a good thing to reach out and it gave me such inspiration to really do the same with friends and family. DISREGARD RESENTMENT, STAND UP FOR WHATS RIGHT & CHOSE LOVE ALWAYS. Friends serve a very important role in our development as individuals. They also function as a support team when life gets a bit overwhelming – which, at one point or another, it always does. As we grow older, we create new friendships and allow older ones to die out. There are, however, several reasons we should reconnect with our roots and reach out to those who once were a fundamental part of our lives. Here are seven of them: 1. At the very least, you’ll experience a hint of nostalgia – everybody loves nostalgia.Meeting up with old friends brings an air of youth along with it. It brings memories rushing to the forefront of our minds, allowing us to bask in the warmth. Nostalgia is a beautiful feeling. It reminds us of the way things once were, the happiness that we experienced growing up, and all the wonder. If you have no other reason to contact any of your old friends, then do it for the sake of the smile it’ll bring to your face. 2. It’s fascinating to see how our roads diverge over time, taking those that were once close to us to opposite sides of the world.Each of us writes his or her own story and although many stories have similar beginnings, the middle and the end will differ greatly. As humans, we often only rely on our own perspectives, paying attention to the way our own stories play out. Reconnecting with past friends will allow you to see the world in a new light. It will show you how funny and weird life can really be. You were a part of their lives at one point and they a part of yours. Maybe you influenced each other more than you know. 3. They’ll remind you of the person you once were and will allow you to better judge the person you have become.Life seems to become more complicated and more difficult with age. Life’s daunting questions weigh heavier upon us year after year. With all that goes on, it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves. To lose sight of the dreams we once had and the people we hoped to one day become. Life may not have been simpler back then, but to us it was. We had a simpler way of thinking – more black and white, with much fewer greys. Getting in touch with your old friends will remind you of the person you used to be. Maybe you lost track. Maybe you’ve grown wiser. Either way, it’s good to know. 4. It may convince you that you knew how to find real friends better when you were younger than you do now.Friends, generally speaking, aren’t easy to make – especially when you get older. The older we get, the more independent we become. Frankly, the older we get, the less we need friends. Or, rather, the less we believe that we need friends. As adults, most of the people in our lives are mere acquaintances. However, we don’t always recognize them as such. We sometimes get lost in the illusion that the acquaintances in our lives are actual friends. While most people become better judges of character with age, they also get lonelier and more desperate with age. You may have awful friends right now and not even know it. 5. On the other hand, you may realize that your judgment has improved significantly with time.You may meet your old friends and decide that you were crazy thinking that these people should have stayed in your life. You may even remember why you cut them off in the first place. A reminder of what friends shouldn’t be is just as good as a reminder of what friends ought to be. 6. It’s not unthinkable that you may reconnect and continue the friendship.I feel that all the excitement of growing up, of going to high school, then college, then finding a job, makes us lose a lot of valuable connections. We lose touch with a lot of people due to geographical reasons. We also lose touch with many friends because we get overly excited about making new ones. Maybe it’s time to rekindle the friendship. 7. Friends are a fundamental part of our lives – there should be a reason for either letting them go or keeping them around.We shouldn’t simply leave things to chance and allow them to either dwindle or carry on simply because. But that’s what often happens. Friendship breakups don’t have the pizazz that relationship breakups do; they usually fade away as if they were never there to begin with. This says nothing more about us other than the fact that we are egocentric and lazy creatures. You could have made an effort to stay friends, but you didn’t. That’s not a very good reason not to keep a good person in your life. Good people are hard to come by. 16. FOCUS ON ONE IMPORTANT PRIORITY IN LIFE G-R-A-T-I-T-U-D-E You really have no idea what you are blessed for when everything you once thought was so minor is now the biggest things to be grateful for. 17. ANYTHING TOXIC, THROW AWAY "Thou shalt not let weird & toxic energy penetrate my positive vibes." I heard this quote somewhere and thought it was hilarious. It is so true though, don't be weird! No Im kidding, being weird is my expertise. Im awkward to begin with when I dont know someone and always say the WRONG things. But whatever, we all have our moments! Anyways, I read this awesome post by Abigial Brenner called "8 Things the Most Toxic People in Your Life Have in Common"How they make you feel and what you can do about it. Do you know a toxic person? Even if you don't now, at some point in your life you're bound to have come across a person who fits the description. Dealing with such an individual can be difficult and draining, to say the least. In fact, it may challenge what you know about yourself and push you to the limits. Here are some traits to familiarize yourself with, and to help you navigate these trying relationships:
18. STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF TO OTHERS Emotional self care is just as of a necessity as getting your nails done or retail therapy. One thing I've learned is to STOP explaining myself to people. They don't know your story, or what you have been through, and you don't need to share every little detail. Stop feeling guilty for creating boundaries and saying no to people. Accept compliments and don't say sorry when you don't need to. Its okay to say yes, its okay to say no. Honestly there is no limit. You know your boundaries and what you can hold, and its okay to express that by being honest. 2019 I had no back bone, but I started to gain one by the end of it. I stood up for myself, for better or for worse, I knew I could handle the outcome. People in your life will always try to put you down, crush your true intentions, or mix words up for you to be the bad guy. It's your day to say STOP. And its okay to not have to explain why you didnt come to work, or show up at church or be part of a family function event. Dont worry about that, this is about your growth and I have learned that Ive grown more in choosing what is best for me and my family. 19. IN LIFE, LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO EXPECTATIONS "Expect nothing, and when you do, you will be always be surprised with better". It's hard not to expect things to go the way you want or the way you thought. After all, being let down is a horrible feeling when it doesn't happen. But if you let that go, then the smallest things become appreciated more. I expect too much from some people including myself, and honestly if there's no expectations then there's no downfall. Its hard to focus on but it really leaves no room for bad hope and inconsistency. Expect nothing and appreciate everything, that's my motto! 20. THE LITTLEST THINGS CAN BE SERVICE "One of the greatest accomplishments in this world would be that of lifting human hearts. Blessed are they who are kind and considerate of the feelings of other people." Richard L. Evans Service can be as simple as helping a friend with grocery shopping, taking someone's kids for their day off, planning a dinner for a family, or a simple phone call of how they are doing. I know when someone brings me dinner I'm like so stoked! I mean...food is the way to my heart but I'm like heck yes I don't have to make dinner! And then I think to myself, I love this and I love doing the same for others. When it comes to service, its almost about finding out the needs of others. Observing from within and then serving with joy. During these holidays, something humbling always takes place in our hearts to do good for others. The spirit of Christmas is truly there and I just love this season. But it cant end there, I always get in the grind of opening my heart and then forget after. I love the feeling of when I do help others that need it and I want this goal just to be as important as all my others. To just grab my phone and ask others what they need these days. 21. BE THE PEACEMAKER, NOT THE FIGHTER So much attitude has controlled my body. I would say I'm like in between being the peacemaker but also falling into the fighter range. I do believe that you should always stick up for what you believe in without picking a fight but also keeping the peace when necessary. There are times when you will have to walk away, but its okay because you now its for the better. Being the peacemaker is hard too, especially when you may want to shut things down quick and give your opinion. But you can defs do it in a respectful way. I've learned that whatever you do, do it with a good heart and things will come around. If you feel the urge to have your inner sass take you down, just say nope not today satan! lol. But I really do need to work on my sass. I only want the best for everyone so being at peace with yourself and your surroundings is very healthy in the long run. "Be a lover not a fighter, but fight for what you love" |